Dear Home Depot:

I need to write this down, so in a few years, when I'm feeling stupid - I can remember why I don't want to shop at these damned stores anymore.

I hate Home Depot.  Like really REALLY hate them.  About three years ago, for whatever foolish reason, I chose to purchase a dryer at Home Depot.  Feeling kinda stupid, because I know dork's nothingness about appliances, I decided to go to an 'expert.'  What a fool I was.  They don't know much, either.  At least they had access to some crappy people who could install my dryer, right?  Turns out - they couldn't.

They brought my dryer - and the dryer cord they had wouldn't reach to the outlet.  "You've got others in the truck, right?"  Yeah - turns out they didn't.  I had to return to the store.  What do I love about Home Depot?  Do-it-yourself everything.  Like customer service, for example.  I asked four employees where the infernal cords were.  Not one took me there.  I was also told three different locations.  Finally - after a half hour of wandering, I grabbed a customer service rep by the hand to show me the cords.  "Huh."  He said.  "Huh."  Looks like we don't have any.  Then, I was handed to another douche bag.  DB2 checked store inventory.  Nothing.  Then checked regional inventory.  Then called other stores.  At hour and a half, he said I'd need to go to Lowe's to get one.  I swear to God.  I asked about a refund.  I was sent to a third douchebag (another half hour of waiting) for me to get a refund, go to Lowe's, but the other cord - then go home and yes, install it myself - even though I'd paid for it.

This year - we need new floors.  For those of you who have ended up in my home - you've noticed the disgusting stain on my crappy vinyl floors in front of the dishwasher.  My layperson guess?  Leaking dishwasher onto floor has damaged floor - and needs to be replaced.  While we're at it, we'll replace cheap-ass fridge, builder-grade stove, and old microwave.  We pick models, and after a downsize to smaller fridge - pick floors.  Remember - the only reason we're doing this is to fix the nasty floor problem.

I pay to have someone come to the house and inspect my floor.  He looks, measures, etc.  I sign and measurements go to the Depot.  I get called with an estimate.  I ask if it includes repairing the stupid floor problems.  "What problems?" she asks.  I reiterate the damaged floor.  "He didn't note it.  He's supposed to do that.  "Really?"  I ask.  This floor is pretty nasty to not notice.  It feels different when I step on it.

"Well...  You could pay to have another person come and check it out." 

"Okay..."  I hesitate, but give my credit card.  She calls back after running the card, and tells me they don't do that service.  I demand a refund, but she assures me it will just go onto the charge for the floors.  THEN she tells me to get a plumber to fix the dishwasher. 

I ask, "If I'm getting a new washer, can't we just assume that it IS damaged, and work that into the estimate?"  Sure!  She works a new estimate, adds floor repair, and I go back to the store.

I walk between the floor department and appliances, and both sides agree to replace appliances BEFORE floor.  Okay...  That seems stupid, but I'm not an expert.  By now, I'm working with the flooring manager, and I go away happy, because I'm buying both appliances and flooring at the same time.  Floor is special-ordered, and appliance delivery is scheduled.

Appliance guys take dishwasher out, and lo and behold - the floor is damaged.  I call Home Depot to make them aware that the floor is damaged, and we'll have to replace it.  I go pick up floor and supplies.  I call three days later to schedule the installer.  He asks the thickness of the floor.  I dunno...  so I photo the floor, and send a pic to him.  Home Depot calls me to tell me I'll need to get a professional to repair the floor before they can install the floor.

Wait.  These are NOT professionals?  ( I know.  I'm a dumb ass.)

So - without visiting my home again, the Depot has informed me they can no longer honor my contract.  Of course BEFORE paying them thousands of dollars - might have been a better time. 

And that is why Home Depot totally sucks complete ass.

I'm off to Wal-Mart to get some REAL service.  ARGH!