Still a man

Yeah, I'm a man.  I don't know anymore if that means anything crazy, positive, or just a punchline - but I'm ready to admit to it, now.  I never had any doubts about that - but was always worried if everyone else did. 

I like being a man - I enjoy the insanity of manhood - but especially enjoy the simplicity of being a man.  In fact - the other side completely confuses me.  Yes, girls.  I'm talking to you.  From the time you're...  I dunno...  Five?  Three?  Born?  I don't understand.  Oh...  I'm interested.  Fascinated.  But don't understand you. 

Now men?  They're easy.  Stop trying to make us complex, ladies.  That?  We ain't.

Want a good description of a man?  Read High Fidelity.  Guess what, though?  That's still too complex.  Want to know what men want?  Three things.  That's it.  Three.  Food, Toys, and women.  The end.  Okay, I'm a modern guy.  Food, toys, companionship.  Don't try to make us more than we are.  Do we do other things?  Sure.  Want other things?  Fine.  Guess what, though?  It all fits into those categories.

Try it out.  Video games?  2.  Beer?  1.  Movies?  1, 2, and 3.  Are we driving you crazy for something?  Substitute something else.  Is a man's heart through his stomach?  Yes.  Or two other avenues.

I can only hope my girls don't become one of these fawning, crazy, depressed ladies.  Don't build it all into one guy.  Especially one of these complete moron jerks.  Guess what?  They end up moron jerks.  Want that forever ?  Really?  Please take me back to high school so every nice kid fawning over every jerk in my school, and take them forward.  Bleah.  Jerks. 

But sadly, I'm happy to include myself amongst those men.  We take lumps.  Loads of 'em.  Punchlines, bad guys, etc.  Still love it.  Love baseball, sports, even  late nights.  Men?  Stand up.  But, hey - don't continue to be such jerks, okay?  You're making the rest of us look bad.